Another place, another time, and it’s still all about the Love.
So I’ve been on a classic kick lately regarding movies.
So many people I know talk about these older movies like they are the stuff that dreams are made of so I figure now that I have netflix why not give them a try.
I rented Matise Falcon, El Cid, Rambo (2008 version), and The Graduate and watched them over the last couple days.
First Maltise Falcon:
“When you get slapped, you’re gonna take it and you’re gonna like it!” Wow! Bogat was the man. I laughed so hard I had to stop the movie and pick it up a few moments later. The romance was rather forced and didn’t make any sense but Sam is no sap that’s for sure. I liked this movie much better than Casa Blanca which I didn’t like all that much.
Rambo (2008 version):
This movie wasn’t as bad as the critics made it out to be. I liked this movie even though the goody goody church goers were total idiots. And listen, I’m all for women’s rights and equal treatment but women seem to forget one very, very crucial fact about themselves and behave as if it doesn’t matter in the world. That fact is - woman have vaginas. And I have to tell ya, ravishous pirates and war fighting rebels love vaginas. Now they will take any vagina they can but foreign white women vaginas are like crack to a crack addict. They see one they have to take it. If I was a woman there is no way in hell I would be going to war torn Burma on a peace mission with my church group. Fuck that! And that goes for third world countries as well. Ladies please stop ignoring your vagina and perhaps Rambo can live in peace for a change.
What was also interesting was watching the deleted scenes and seeing how Sly took parts of those terrible scenes, re-edited them into another scene and put that into the movie. It was a straight forward storyline if a bit unreal in some parts (sex in this movie was all forced. The poor asian girls got gang raped by a couple hundred soldiers but the white woman who they captured and had tired up for 10 days wasn’t so much as touched. And it wasn’t because the rebel leader was saving her for himself (he liked little boys) it was because… well actually I can’t think of a reason why she wasn’t treated poorly like all the other people/woman/men in the movie. Her fellow church companions(men) were fed to pigs - alive. And yet the rebels just left her alone and took a half dozen asian women instead. They were so polite. I’m not calling for her raping, I’m just saying that when you establish rebels as sex crazed men who rape and murder for sport (they bet on who would die first), having one glaring contradiction for no good reason doesn’t make any sense for your movie. In the writing world it’s called, being true to your universe. Or something like that.) Regardless of that minor clearly editoriral (and probably actress mandated) plot line (I don’t blame her either. I don’t want to act out a rape scene.), Sly is clearly getting better with his directing. Acting is still the same. And no it wasn’t a mini-nuke that went off in the forest it was a tallboy bomb (video of the explosion from the movie). Found this very interesting site on the kill count statistics of the Rambo movies. Notice the body count keeps going up and the sex “scenes” are still at zero. Sexual assaults aren’t included in this stat but still no joy for Rambo. He loves his knife. That’s all he has now.
El Cid:
I can see where Charleton Heston got his props from. This movie, although long (it took two days with a day intermission to finish), was good. The white knight rides out against an army and they scatter. That last scene was worth the price of admission. We should do that with our dead warriors. Strap them into a horse and send them out in front of the army. And since we’re now fighting the same enemy as Spain fought one thousand years ago - Moors (ie radical Muslims driven by religious fervor and power) - it just might work. I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw the Al Qaeda speech delivered at the beginning of this movie explaining why the Muslims should be rulers of the world. What the?! What was worse was how the Muslim Kings in Spain and surrounding territory, who were peaceful, just went along with this radical crazy Moor. Even the good Muslim King was attacking and burning villages until captured and set free by Heston. Only then did he go for peace.
But seriously, watching El Cid strapped to his horse and seeing the horse listing to one side and being “guided” by nearby knights on horse back as it ran out was so messed up. I can’t believe it worked. That was surely another time ago. Spain. And yet some things are still the same.
I now realize why monarchies can never last. The power is too concentrated and politics way too toxic for such a small group to overcome. But it also explains why monarches whether in government or religion are so dangerous. Everyone simply falls in line with the one at the top and any rational decent or questioning by those below is met with violent opposition/exile and most likely death.
This was a surprisingly good movie. And there is this huge scene where they are on a mountain side coming up against a castle and there are thousands of soldiers on horses and catapults, and siege towers and knights with polearms marching in formation. They are all dressed in armour and flags and moving in step. The background is a massive castle with walls stretching entire coastline for at least half a mile protecting itself from the sea and then out into the country side to encompass the city. It’s a very impressive scene. Then you remember. This was made before CGI. That was an actual castle with an actual wall. Those were really thousands of knights, and horses and catapults in that scene. They were real. The scale takes on even more weight then. Hollywood spared no expense back then. I wonder what the cost of El Cid was back then($6 million dollars) (*adjusted for inflation. grr!!!) and what it would cost to make it today? (I couldn’t let this go. Here is the answer: $41,573,557.19*
And finally The Graduate:
Why was this movie so popular? Was it the “affair” between the younger man and the older woman? The acting was very good but nothing I haven’t seen before. Hoffman’s character, Ben, was almost an idiot savant in his behaviors. He was a younger version of RainMan. Does he act this way in all his movies? Perhaps it was made during a time of rebellion when most young people were fighting against lockstepping into their parent’s careers. This movie surely spoke to that. Again it was another movie where love was based on so little. Maltise Falcon is the worse offender. At least El Cid had a pairing that was true and they appeared to know each other for a while, but in The Graduate, they went on one date and Ben wants to marry her.
Mrs. Robinson was so bitter. The women, Elain, was a sheep, to even go along with the arranged marriage. Especially after nearly saying “yes” to Ben not a couple hours before. And we don’t get the moral of the story until the very very end, “It’s too late!” shouts Mrs. Robinson. And Elain (her daughter) shouts back, “Not for me!” and she runs out of the church with Ben, after just getting married. The ring is still warm from being in Chester’s pocket. Chester was the poor sap picked by Elain’s father.
But the most confusing thing about this movie, is that Ben and Elain throw everything away to be together. Ben traveled all across the country to stop the wedding, and failing that, he steals Elain away from the church and when they catch the bus just down the street and are finally sitting in the back seat they look excited and happy for about 10 seconds, then sit quietly. They don’t touch. They don’t look at each other. They aren’t smiling. They are just sitting there. And the credits roll. Why?
Shouldn’t they be estatic? Shouldn’t they be at least kissing, or one kiss of triump, or perhaps she should rest her head on his shoulder, or him on hers, something! I was left at the end of this movie thinking they both realized they had made a terrible mistake in rejecting their parents’ wishes but are now committed and can’t go back so they might as well stay together.
It was a huge uplift and then an immediate crash of “be careful what you wish for”. Is that why this movie is so popular? Is this why the movie is showered with awards?
I liked the movie but that final scene didn’t make any sense. Their behavior was so strange and out of place. What happened?! I suppose the moral of my story is I don’t understand love at all, especially if it’s suppose to look like what happened on that bus. 
***
I like classic movies. But at times I think these classics are mentioned more on nostalgia than actual merit. They are mentioned because they break new ground at a new time, just as Star Wars did in its day. Star Wars was a decent movie but if you go back there are problems with it and the main character is such a baby and whiner. It’s not really as good as I remember it when I first saw it. I think it’s similar to when people recommend ‘the classics’.
So I have a few more classics in the queue but I’m going to intersperse them with more modern movies I want to see. Seeing all classics in one netflix delivery was a little too much.
Speaking of classic - Jobs are down. Banks are down. Economies are down. War company profits are up! At least the important people are being taken care of. 